MTLBlagger 
$18 million over player salary cap budget something something something… CHEATING! Their main colours are blue and white! YUCK! Not one cop car overturned amidst Stanley Cup celebrations! WEAK! A lighting for a logo is STUPID! LAZY! Whatever THIS was:
The police car chosen by Montreal police in a ‘Midsommar’ style ceremony to be a sacrifice to Canadiens’ fans in case the Habs win the playoffs is happy they lost Game 5 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. ‘I was really worried that after Game 4 that they would gain some sort’ve momentum and make it … Read more
Quebec Health authorities have rejected the Montreal Canadiens’ request to allow more than 3500 fans into the Bell Centre to watch game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals. The Quebec Health authorities, however, have accepted that fans can meld to form a single ‘superorganism’ right outside the Bell Centre. ‘We need to respect and abide … Read more
Everyone get a load of this DIMWIT on Reddit who seriously thought there was a beaver in the middle of downtown Montreal. Like, really – A BEAVER? He thought the groundhog was a BEAVER! What a DUNCE!! Like, come on – read a BOOK or something you SIMPLETON. That’s obviously NOT A BEAVER – you … Read more
All Italian Montreal bars and restaurants are becoming Olive Gardens today in order to adopt and use the famous Italian eatery’s slogan ‘When You’re Here, You’re Family!’ in an attempt to get around the two families per household rule in time for the opening Euro Cup 2020 match between Italy and Turkey. ‘We think it’s … Read more
Following the SPVM’s successful borrowing of a helicopter from the Sûreté du Québec in an effort to help instill an air of dystopia and tyranny upon park goers last Friday night by hovering menacingly above the city with a searchlight on; the SPVM is now looking to borrow delivery drones from Amazon to help remind … Read more